I believe that with each new year certain themes take precedence in our lives. This time last year, I had written a blog post expressing nothing but my sincerest gratitude for all that I had experienced in 2015. Keeping that theme in mind, I made it a point to express gratitude to all those I encountered throughout 2016. I consciously and consistently told those who showed me kindness, showed me empathy, and showed me support that I appreciated them. I said, “Thank you,” a lot; and you know what? People responded with warmth and acceptance.
It goes without saying that 2016 for humanity, as a whole, was rather disheartening. We, collectively, witnessed our species at its lowest, most bigoted, and most disparaging. It was a tough year, and due to the actions of some we humans – especially those in this country – will have to endure the consequences of our foolish and selfish choices. I will be honest, I am wary of the next four years to come.
However, on an individual level, I must admit that 2016 was a year of amazing growth, challenges, and prosperity for me.
It was one of the best years of my life, and I do not doubt that it is because of the choices I made for myself and my goals. The first choice was to be grateful, and I believe all the good that has manifested in my life thus far is because I chose gratitude for my theme for 2016.
So, that got me to thinking, what would the theme for 2017 be? What would be the driving force behind my further development? It did not come as easily to me as it did last year. I had to take the time to seriously think about it. Gratitude will continue to be a pillar upon which I want to build the foundation of my life, but what will be next?
I received my answer in the oddest of ways.
We are bombarded by memes, pictures, and gifs all day long on Facebook, and early one morning, while lying in bed, scrolling through my news feed I happened upon a gif that read, “What will you manifest in 2017?” Below this question, words cycled rapidly so that the reader could barely make out what they said. The viewer is instructed to take a screen shot. The word caught in the screen shot would be your manifestation. A sort of magic 8-ball digitized. I chuckled, but fell for the bait, and snapped a screen shot. I checked my screenshots folder on my phone, chuckling to myself at the absurdity of it all, and read my answer: “Deep healing.”
After that, I placed my phone on my desk, and proceeded to start my day. I don’t think I even thought about it again for several days, until I scrolled past it while looking at other pictures on my phone, and it got me to thinking, that perhaps healing is what I need for 2017.
As I stated earlier, gratitude was my 2016 theme, and the past year brought me all I wanted in life. I can say, right now in this moment, I truly have everything my heart has desired. Starting graduate school and moving to San Francisco was one of the best decisions I could have made for myself. I grew more in those four months of the fall semester than I could have imagined. However, I was also prepared for my new life far better than I had given myself credit for in the past. I am, like many people, extremely hard on myself. I have a tendency to compare myself to others, berate myself for my failures, tear myself down for not progressing at a rate I think is appropriate, and overall damaging my confidence and self-esteem in debilitating ways. So, there was a side of me that was surprised at how well I acclimated to my new life. At how people gravitated towards me, admired me for the person I am, and respected me. I did not just survive my first semester of graduate school, I thrived in my new life. A life I had built for myself.
I found fulfilling work that both challenges me and empowers me. I took up a trade and line of study that engages me creativity as a writer, but trains me with the technical skills necessary for a career. I found that I am capable of tremendous amounts of compassion and care for complete strangers. I built friendships with people who genuinely accepted me for the unique individual I am. And I found love. A real romantic love with a man who is my equal, my confidante, my greatest supporter, and who I admire and respect unfathomably. I found my life in San Francisco!
So, one would wonder why would I need deep healing for 2017? Well, I believe that though I have what I want right now, and while I am grateful; I would be remissed to think that there is not more work to be done. There are times that I find myself on that familiar path of despair and fear. When anxiety, doubt, and self-contempt begin to swirl within me, ready to wreak havoc on the peace of mind I have worked so hard to create. The only difference now is that I have a stronger network of support to lean upon when those times fall upon me.However, the fact that I do still deal with these lingering demons is a sign to me that I have a lot of healing to do. I have spent so much of my life being so hard on myself that I have forgotten how to care for myself. I forget to show myself the kindness and compassion I am so willing to give to complete strangers.
And I know that a lot of this is related to the mental and emotional wounds I have endured in my life time. It is, understandably, difficult to break the habits of a past life when you have lived in only one way for an extended period of time. But, I am saying here and now, that I am ready for those habits to be laid to rest.
I want to continue to grow in the direction of light and happiness that has been placed before me. I believe that I must continue to practice gratitude, and now, in the year of 2017, it is imperative that I incorporate healing – deep, profound, and introspective – into my daily ritual.What this will look like, I have yet to figure out, but it will be interesting to chronicle the journey.
However, for now I will say, happy new year to you all. Consider what your theme for 2017 will be…
And may you always be sweetly inspired.
All images were found through out my internet surfing days. I do not take credit for these images.